Julius Reuben

The first thing I noticed when Julius Reuben walked into the room was that he was alive. Not in the breathing sense, I take that for granted in my interviewees, can be a bit of a stickler for this kind of detail… What I mean is he was exuding. And I don’t imply here being exuberate, extravagant, extrovert or any of the other euphemisms for being ‘obviously gay’. I mean exuding - emanating, radiating who he is - from within. Unreservedly and unapologetically so.

been Miss Africa at one point and one of the big fashion designers in Tanzania.) He came to England 11 or 12 years ago (he’s now 26), but has also spent time studying, working and travelling in, among other places, Kenya (as a student), Nigeria, Zimbabwe, India (work experience in business and IT) and Amsterdam. But in all this Julius wasn’t running away but running towards…’travelling in search of me’. This with some people might sound like somewhat of a cliché, but not with Julius. And what became very apparent as the evening progressed is that he had travelled very far indeed to be sitting here telling me who it is that he has found.

It was all very much heart-on-the-sleeve stuff from this animated, charismatic, cool young guy, still in his mid-20s, but wise beyond his years (not old before his time) striking, energetic, proud, frock-talking, catwalking, bomber-jacket-and-tight-jeans-wearing model, actor and dancer - letting it all hang out, verbally speaking. Yet, really, under the surface here was a self-contained man, measured in what he said, underneath the apparent transparency protecting himself with barriers, walls that experience has taught him he needs in order to survive and flourish in the face of the destructive effects of a hostile world.

Julius comes from a family of mixed racial and cultural heritage. He explains that in his blood there can be found ‘Greek, Swedish, English, Jamaican, Canadian and African’ heritage. ‘I was brought up in a multi-cultural environment,’ he reflects. ‘It was only when I was in the sixth form at school in Alperton (London) that I really encountered racism – along with all the “batty boy” comments [which weren’t new].’

Racism and homophobia are two things Julius knows a lot about. Though, he says, ‘for me, race is not such an issue as gayness’. And in addition to the homophobia that lies just beneath the surface of polite British society (and not hidden at all in many places) there is plenty of homophobia in the black community to contend with. ‘I love Brixton. They just hate the way I dress! It’s all about their insecurity – the whole down low thing. A man with his wife, fantasizing about men, and sleeping with men behind his wife’s back.

Definitely not “out”.’

Julius talks about the problems of being a black and

gay in western society. ‘We are black people living in

western society which is in parts still deeply racist,

then we are gay in black society which is massively

homophobic. And then some of us have to deal with

being feminine in the black gay community.’

And then there is racism in the gay community.

‘I was invited to a private gay party at a club. I was on

the guest list. But the doorman wasn’t letting me in;

he was trying to pretend he hadn’t heard me. Several

times I told him I was on the list. Each time he ignored

me. In the end I had to call the manager.

You know what? I was third on the list.'

‘It’s a sin not to be proud of who I am…’ Julius had begun the interview before I had. I was gate-crashing on a discussion about a dress Julius wanted customized for the evening wear section of the Queen of the World Pageant which was taking place the following Friday, 27th July, in the Bloomsbury Theatre, London. (Later he called to say he won Queen of Catwalk.) I’d been waiting for the talk of fabrics and frills to end before asking my questions. But now Julius had begun, having switched effortlessly from the frock-chat to a somewhat more far-ranging and at times intense and moving invitation into his world. For the next few hours he talked, prompted now and then by my questions, openly and from the heart - without any barriers or pretensions. Interesting really because he had followed his ‘sin’ comment by adding, ‘I have deliberately created barriers – I want to be with people I’m comfortable with and I run away from negative energy.’

Running away might on first sight seem to be what Julius has done quite a lot of. He started in Kilimanjaro, where he was born in 1981, spent his childhood in Tanzania. (His mother had